


Engagements, Encounters, and Entanglements

by fembuck



Category: Gypsy (US TV)
Genre: Age Difference, Canon LGBTQ Female Character, Canon Lesbian Relationship, Established Relationship, F/F, Femslash, Psychological Drama
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-11
Updated: 2017-07-14
Packaged: 2018-11-30 21:49:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,820
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11472357
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fembuck/pseuds/fembuck
Summary: Jean no longer has to worry about keeping Sidney at arm’s length, but she’s still under pressure.





	1. Engagments

**Author's Note:**

> This story takes place after the events of my first Jean x Sidney story, “You Bet it All (When You Play Me)". It’s not strictly necessary to have read that story to follow the events of this story, but it does provide context for situations explored in this story.

Music, the whirring of machines, and a cacophonic murmur of human voices flittered into the storeroom of the Rabbit Hole from the café, but the noise barely registered with Jean as she tilted her head back against the wall, sighing contentedly  as Sidney’s lips sucked, and kissed, and nipped at any patch of skin available to the brunette’s hungry mouth; her hands exploring Jean body restlessly, caressing, grasping, stroking, desperate to touch curves and soft skin that she had been denied access to for days.

“You said you had theories about me?” Jean gasped as Sidney kissed her neck.  “What theories?”

“You mean other than bored, ‘theatrically mysterious’ soccer mom?” Sidney asked cheekily.

“Karate,” Jean breathed out helpfully.

“What?” Sidney asked, pulling back from Jean’s neck enough that she could see the blonde’s face.

“Dolly takes Karate,” Jean informed Sidney. “So, technically, you should call me a Karate mom,” Jean continued, a teasing little smile tugging up her lips as she gazed over at Sidney.

“You’re such a nerd,” Sidney murmured playfully, smiling back at Jean and her adorable response before she leaned forward quickly and nipped at Jean’s nose teasingly.  “What colour belt?”

“She made orange a few months ago,” Jean reported proudly.  “She punched a wooden plank in half.”

“Fierce,” Sidney breathed out before whistling, sounding very impressed.  “She teach you any sick moves?” she asked, a wicked smile beginning to tug up her lips as she leaned into Jean.  “Could you take me?” she whispered into the blonde’s ear.

“Yeah, I could take you,” Jean purred, tilting her head to the side to capture Sidney’s lips hotly a moment later.  “I wanna take you right now,” she added, her voice rough and low in a way that hit Sidney hard, drawing a wanting moan from her as she rocked her hips towards Jean needfully. 

“You’re such a fucking tease,” Sidney groaned, burying her face in Jean’s neck as she tried to get a hold of her raging hormones. “I need you so much,” Sidney groaned into the warmth of Jean’s neck, “but that would definitely get me fired,” she sighed. 

She was already on thin ice, now that taking Jean back to the storeroom had become a pattern instead of a one (or two) off thing.  If one of her coworkers actually found them fucking instead of just sucking face, she would definitely get sacked. 

“If rent wasn’t due soon, I’d risk it though,” Sidney admitted before kissing Jean fiercely, smiling against Jean’s lips when Jean laughed into their kiss.

As Sidney’s lips trailed down to her neck again, Jean let her head fall back against the wall behind her again.

“God, I wish I hadn’t had to give up 309,” Jean exhaled, breath falling lighter and faster as she pictured what they could’ve been getting up to if she still had her apartment.  “You could’ve lived there,” Jean continued wistfully.  “You wouldn’t have had to worry about rent.  You could’ve concentrated on your music.”

“Like a kept woman?” Sidney asked playfully, as she shifted her lips to another spot on Jean’s neck, knowing she had to be careful not to leave any lasting marks.

“Would you have liked that?” Jean asked breathlessly.

“Yeah,” Sidney exhaled softly.  “I’ve always sort of fancied the idea of having a Sugar Mama,” she whispered, lips brushing over the shell of Jean’s ear before she sucked the lobe into her mouth.

Jean released a shuddering breath.

“I could’ve met you there early in the morning, before my first session,” Jean said longingly, stroking Sidney’s cheek gently. “Or on my lunch breaks,” she continued softly, losing herself in the pleasant fantasy for a second. “Not that the storeroom isn’t lovely,” she added teasingly a moment later, the comment making Sidney laugh.

“I mean it’s not the bathroom at _Atla_ ,” Sidney observed, earning a smirk from Jean.  “But I think it has a certain charm.  A cheap, shitty charm, but …” she trailed off with a smile before leaning in to kiss Jean.  “Seriously though,” she sighed when she pulled back. “It would be nice to get you naked again,” she whispered as she rubbed her body against Jean’s, like a cat in heat.

“I know,” Jean whispered, cupping Sidney’s face in her hands, stroking the brunette’s cheeks with her thumbs gently before she drew Sidney into a hug, cradling her as Sidney buried her face in the crook of her neck again.

“I need a distraction,” Sidney mumbled into Jean’s neck as she wrapped her arms around the blonde. “Tell me what’s going on with you,” she requested softly, her eyes closing as she focused on the warmth of Jean’s body around her and their shared scent, _Chance_ by Chanel.  “You seemed really agitated when you arrived.  Is something going on at home?”

Jean was quiet for a few moments as they remained pressed together, her hand running absentmindedly over Sidney’s back as Sidney’s breath warmed her chest.

“It’s not home,” Jean breathed out finally.  “That’s … what it is,” she sighed heavily, knowing that there was no quick fix to be found in that particular arena. “This is work, I guess.”

“You guess?” Sidney asked, reluctantly pulling out of Jean’s embrace so that she could lead them over to the bench where they could rest more comfortably.  “What does that mean?” Sidney asked as Jean took a seat on the bench and then slipped down to the floor, seating herself between Jean’s legs before resting her head on Jean’s thigh.

“I think I’m being followed,” Jean related, her brows furrowing with consternation.

“By who?” Sidney asked, serious and focused as she looked up at Jean.

“It has to do with a patient,” Jean replied. “You remember the friend I told you I had staying at 309, the one whose gear you found in the freezer?”

Sidney nodded.

“Well, that friend was actually a patient with an abusive boyfriend, and a bad home situation … or so she claimed.  She said she didn’t have anywhere to go … so, I tried to help.  Let her stay at my place where she’d be safe while she attended meetings, trying to stay clean.”

“You think she’s following you?” Sidney asked, brows scrunching together confusedly.

“No, I think her ex and former dealer is,” Jean explained.  “Fucking Tom.”

“Tom,” Sidney repeated, the name seeming familiar though she couldn’t quite place where she had heard it before.  “Tom,” she whispered to herself, repeating the name a few more times in her head until …  “Shit,” she breathed out realizing that Jean had mentioned the name before, during her panic attack at the museum.  “You thought he was at the museum. How long has this been going on for?” she continued, her tone and expression concerned as she realized that Jean’s panic attack had not just been a result of the stress of trying to keep up the “Diane” façade with her.

“A couple weeks,” Jean admitted.

“Fuck, Jean,” Sidney breathed out harshly, staring up at the blonde incredulously. “Why didn’t you …” she began, before releasing a frustrated sigh and abandoning the question.  She already knew why this was the first time she was hearing about this. The stalking had started during the ‘Diane Days’ when Jean was still completely shrouded in mystery.  “What does he look like?” Sidney continued, course correcting.

“5’10 maybe, longish brown hair, chin length … beady eyes, fucking ugly goatee thing,” Jean reported.

“Sounds like half our clientele,” Sidney joked, drawing a fragile smile from Jean.  “Do you have a picture of him?”

“Why?” Jean asked curiously.

“So that if we’re out I can keep an eye out for him,” Sidney stated reasonably.  “So that if he comes anywhere near you when I’m around I can fucking …”

“Do nothing,” Jean interjected before Sidney could continue.  “He’s a thug, Sid. He’s a criminal,” she stated seriously.  “He’s dangerous. The man has no problem knocking around women.  If I show you his picture, you have to promise not to engage him.”

Sidney’s eyes narrowed in displeasure and her jaw clenched before she turned her head away from Jean, her eyes broodily focusing on a stack of nearby boxes.

“Don’t be like that,” Jean said pleadingly, breaking the tense silence that had fallen between them.  “I’m not trying to be controlling … or an asshole.  I just couldn’t stand it if something happened to you because of me,” she continued, her tender words successfully penetrating the dark cloud that had come over Sidney.  “I don’t want you to get hurt.”

“And I don’t want to get hurt,” Sidney breathed out, finally looking back up at Jean. “I want to help you.  I want to keep you safe. And yeah, if the opportunity arises, I want to punch this shitbag in his asshole face for fucking terrorizing you.”

“So passionate,” Jean breathed out, stroking Sidney’s cheek gently as she gazed down at her softly, touched by Sidney’s desire to keep her safe. “You know I love that about you.  But it won’t save you from a knife or a gun.  You can’t protect me from him.”

“I can,” Sidney breathed out, eyes dark and intense as she gazed up at Jean challengingly, and in that moment, Jean’s mind filled with the memory of finding a drawer full of bullets at Sidney’s place. “But if you don’t believe that,” Sidney continued, “at least let me keep an eye out for you. Do you have a picture?”

“Promise me first,” Jean insisted, not wanting to risk Sidney ending up in the hospital or prison as a result of this.

Sidney released a harsh breath, but nodded her head.

“Fine,” she said, though she crossed her arms belligerently as she spoke.  “I promise, okay.  I won’t approach him if I see him.  Happy now?”

“Yes actually,” Jean replied, ignoring the scowl on Sidney’s face.  “Thank you,” she continued, bending down to kiss Sidney lightly.

When they separated, Jean stretched to the side, leaning towards the other end of the bench where she had rested her purse earlier.  She dragged the bag over to her and then rooted around in it until she found her phone.

“The qualities not great,” Jean noted before handing the phone to Sidney. 

The image was one she had taken by slowing down as she drove past Tom’s car where it was parked down the street from her house.  He’d seen her of course, and gotten out of his car to confront her, but she’d made it into the garage and managed to close the door before he could catch up with her, and like she’d suspected, she lived in too nice and nosy a neighborhood for him to risk drawing attention by pounding on the door, yelling, or stalking around the property.

“Fuck,” Sidney exclaimed when she saw the picture.  “I know him.”

“What?” Jean gasped.

“Well, not really ‘know know’.  I’ve met him.  He deals to Francis sometimes,” Sidney explained.

“Really?” Jean asked slowly, distractedly, her gaze focusing on the wall across from them as her brain worked over the unexpected piece of information.

“What?” Sidney asked curiously when Jean looked back down at her a minute later, clearly having reached a decision of some kind. 

“Could you…” Jean began before pausing, and shaking her head.  “No. Never mind. Forget I said anything.”

“Like that’s going to happen,” Sidney retorted.  “What is it? How can I help?” she continued seriously, taking Jean’s hand into her own.  “I want to help.”

“I … I don’t know, I just thought that maybe … I mean, any leverage I could get would help the situation, and I thought that maybe you could … talk to Francis … try to find out what he knows about Tom?  Where he’s from …friends, family, associates … enemies … anything,” Jean managed to get out, her eyes skittering back and forth uncertainly between Sidney’s face and the floor the whole time she was speaking.

“Yeah,” Sidney breathed out immediately.  “Of course.  I’ll talk to him about it … discretely,” she added when Jean’s expression took on a look of worry.  “I can try tonight after practice.”

“You don’t have to,” Jean told her seriously, stroking Sidney’s neck lightly with her thumb.

“I know. But I want to,” Sidney stated as she gazed up at Jean.

Jean smiled down at her, and began to lean down to kiss her when an awkward cough sounded from the entrance to the storeroom.

“Seriously Sid, can’t you do this someplace else?” Micah complained, dropping his eyes down to the ground.

“Seriously Micah, quit riding my dick,” Sidney replied utterly unconcerned with Micah’s delicate sensibilities.  “Whaddaya want?”

“Some dude is out there is looking for you.  He’s being like super insistent, and it’s annoying.  You need to do something about it,” Micah reported.

“Who is he?”

“If I knew that, I wouldn’t have said ‘some dude’,” Micah pointed out a little testily. “He looks like a dad or whatever. Suit, square jaw, short brown hair … a little salt thrown into the pepper. Obviously not a friend since he described you as ‘that girl with the band and the neck tattoo’.  Could be a cop,” he paused for a second and shifted his attention to Jean, giving her a quick once over.  “Or her husband,” he added, smirking.

“Okay, thank you, Micah, you can fuck all the way off now,” Sidney replied testily, making a shooing motion with her hand.  “I’ll be there in a minute.” 

“Super,” Micah muttered before turning and heading back out to the café.

“Hey,” Sidney breathed out, focusing her attention back on Jean.  “You okay?” she asked, realizing how tense Jean had gotten when she was distracted by talking to Micah.  “What?  What is it?”

“Michael,” Jean breathed out, staring at the entrance to the storeroom anxiously.

“You think the dude is really Michael?”

“Yeah,” Jean murmured uneasily.  “I do.” 

She knew that Michael had questions about Sidney. She’d managed to deflect him from the topic days ago when he’d mentioned ‘the girl’ that had shown up at his office asking about Diane. It was clearly something that had stuck out to him however, and he’d had nearly a week to obsess about it and could have started to remember things, like the fact that he’d seen Sidney before that day at his office.

“Okay,” Sidney stated calmly, rising from the floor so that she could sit next to Jean on the bench.  “It’s fine.  I’ll handle it,” she continued, cupping Jean’s face in her hands, caressing Jean’s cheeks gently with her thumbs before finally leaning in to place a soft kiss on Jean’s lips.  “You don’t need to worry.  I promise.  Just stay here.  I’ll be back soon.”

Jean nodded though she was still visibly tense and clearly worried.

“Please,” Jean said, reaching for Sidney’s hand when the brunette started to move away.  “Just … be careful. Don’t deny that we know each other, or were friendly.  But don’t add too much detail, it…”

“Hey,” Sidney cut in.  “I got this.  You know I’ve got this,” she continued, leaning down to kiss Jean quickly one more time.  “It’ll be okay,” she added with a smile, and then she freed her hand from Jean’s and headed for the door.


	2. Encounters

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sidney and Michael talk.

Sidney paused in the hallway that led to the front of the café and ran a hand through her hair, trying to return some order to it. She then took a deep, steadying breath, attempting to calm the restless energy coursing through her at the thought of finally getting to knowingly meet and speak to Michael … to the competition.  

Closing her eyes, Sidney rolled her shoulders, stretched out her neck, like a fighter preparing to enter the ring, and then she began to move again, sauntering confidently into the public area of the café.

She knew what Michael looked like from his picture on his firm website, so even if he wasn’t the only dad looking dude in the place she would have known who to head for. He spotted her not long after she emerged into the open however, and when they made eye contact, Sidney nodded her head to the side, directing him to follow her to a quiet corner of the café.

“You were looking for me?” Sidney asked, surveying him curiously as she leaned casually against a large shelving unit that contained bags of coffee, travel mugs and various other overpriced crap.

Michael recognized her, but he still let his eyes drift down to her neck to confirm that she was the one he’d seen in the elevator that day.

“Michael Holloway,” he said by way of greeting, holding out his hand to Sidney, who glanced down at it amusedly before accepting the offer.  “You came to my office,” he continued, his eyes focused and intense as he met Sidney’s gaze.

“Now you’re in mine,” Sidney observed blithely, gesturing with her hand to the café around them.  “We have to stop meeting like this,” she continued teasingly.

“Yeah,” Michael breathed out, his lips twitching up a little despite himself.  “It’s a little different,” he continued stiffly.  “You know Diane Hart?”

“Yeah, sure,” Sidney replied shrugging, allowing her eyes to drift around the bustling café lazily. 

“Do you know her well?” Michael inquired.

“Why do you ask?” Sidney asked, returning her gaze to him, running her eyes over him curiously … perhaps a touch suspiciously.

“My assistant told me you were asking about a story that Diane told you she wrote. Since you were at her place last week, and she was sharing her work with you, I thought it reasonable to assume that you know each other fairly well,” Michael responded, watching her closely, hoping that she wouldn’t contradict his statement that she had been to 309 the week before.

When he’d made a surprise visit to the apartment, he’d found two glasses and a bottle of bourbon laid out on the coffee table, and this girl being there was the only narrative he could come up with to explain what he had found that didn’t involve Jean being there with another man.

Jean trying to hold onto youthful feelings of freedom by paling around with girls twenty years younger than her didn’t nullify the irresponsibility, indulgence, and hurtfulness of her actions, but it was a vastly preferable scenario to any other possibility Michael could fathom for why Jean had been so mysterious lately, and why the secret apartment she kept but claimed to never use had been recently used.

“What does it matter to you?” Sidney asked suspiciously, narrowing her eyes as she focused her full attention on him.  “I mean, seriously. Why should I answer any of your questions?  For all I know you could be some panty sniffing stalker. She could have a restraining order against you or something.”

“I’m not a …” Michael began indignantly before taking a moment to calm himself.

He wasn’t a panty sniffing stalker, but he supposed that the baristas concern made sense.  She didn’t know him, and while he wasn’t a creep, he knew that there were plenty of creeps out there in the world, and that pretty young women like this girl had to deal with them more often than he could imagine. 

Instead of verbally trying to convince the barista that he knew “Diane” and it was safe to talk to him about her, Michael took out his phone and selected an image of himself, Jean and Dolly to show to her.

“I’m not a stalker,” Michael said softly as he held his phone out so the barista could see it.

Sidney stared at the picture for a long moment, taking in all of the details.  The picture had been taken in a backyard, a big one.  It seemed like maybe it had been taken at a party or a barbeque, and she wondered if it had been at their house. Jean and Michael were standing side by side; Michael had his arm draped over her shoulder, and Dolly and a shaggy dog were positioned in from of them, all of them smiling brightly at the camera.

They looked perfect.  Like a fucking Old Navy commercial … the quintessential American family. All that was missing was the white picket fence, and that was probably just out of frame.

Even the fucking dog looked like he was smiling.

It made her skin crawl.

“Couples split up,” Sidney noted lifting her gaze from the picture, careful to keep her voice and expression neutral.

“We haven’t split …” Michael paused, took a calming breath and started again. “Please, I’m not asking you for her address, contact information or anything else I could use to track her down.  I don’t need to track her down.  I know where I can find her.  I just … I need your help clarifying some things.”

“Why?” Sidney asked curiously.  “I mean if you know so much about her already, what do you need me for?”

“You … you can care about someone without knowing everything about them.  Je … Diane has a lot of people in her life that care about her, and need her.  But … if you know her at all, you know that sometimes she can make impulsive decisions that make things hard for her … and for the people who love her.  I love her,” Michael stated, holding Sidney’s eyes intensely.  “That’s why I’m here … because I’m trying to help her. And you’ve been spending time with her lately, right?”

Sidney shrugged but tilted her head forward, giving the overall impression that yes, she had spent time with Diane.

“Then you may know things I don’t, and those things could help me, help her. Please, anything you could tell me would be appreciated,” Michael said beseechingly.

Sidney released a long breath.  “Well, that was vague and dramatic,” she drawled, gazing at Michael, “But so is Diane … so okay.”

She shifted her position then, opening her stance up in a way that was meant to convey honesty, and she then continued.

“You wanted to know about the story, right?”

Michael nodded his head.

“Well, I mean there’s not much to tell. I read the story, thought it was good…really good. I related to it. And … I guess it seems stupid to say it now since she didn’t even write the fucking thing, but … Diane had always been so mysterious and the story made me feel like she was sharing something real with me, you know? She hooked me.” Sidney paused for a moment for dramatic effect, and then sighed, “Anyway, it can get, just like super slow around here at times, so one day when I had some time to kill I googled the Roller-Coaster story, hoping that maybe the site that published it had more of Diane’s work that I could read. When I searched it up though, I found a couple sites where the story had been published, but, as you know, the author listed on all those sties was Alexis Wright. So, I went to your office to find out what the deal was.”

“Why go to the trouble of tracking Alexis down?” Michael asked.  

It had always seemed strange to him that this girl had taken the time to search Alexis out and confront her over something a casual friend had shown her. It seemed like such an intense reaction to a perceived lie. It alluded to a certain depth of feeling, he thought. This girl had to really care about Jean for her lies to have hit the girl hard enough for her to try and track down the truth … much like he was doing presently.

Sidney stared at him for a moment, taking in how serious he looked before laughing a little and shaking her head.

“The future is now, man.  Big Brother is here.  Our lives are online. It took me like five minutes to find out where Alexis worked. It wasn’t exactly an epic undertaking,” Sidney told him.  “As for why bother … there are three things you need to know about me. 1) I’m a nosy motherfucker.  2) I hate being lied to. And 3) I don’t much like seeing my friends get fucked over. All of which adds up to me not being the type of person that could just brush those search results off.  So yeah, I went to your office to talk to her.”

Michael was quiet for a moment in the face of Sidney’s response, his eyes wandering past her, staring behind the counter as he thought. 

She made it sound so simple, but still, despite the sense her replies made, he couldn’t shake the feeling that he was missing something. 

“Why’d she show you the story in the first place?”

Nobody was perfect, Michael knew that.  People made mistakes.  Even the best liars slipped up eventually.  But Jean giving Alexis’s story to this girl … it was just such a sloppy mistake. Handing over something, even tangentially connected to the life she was trying to hide, was so obviously a bad idea that he couldn’t fathom Jean not seeing that.  So why did she do it?  Why did she risk it?

Sidney shrugged. 

“She told me she was a writer, and we’ve already established I’m a nosy little shit. One time when she was in, she was preoccupied with her phone and I asked what she was doing.  She said she was working on a piece, and I was all like, ‘Oh yeah, you should let me read something you’ve written’, and she was all like, ‘Maybe I will.’ Then she took off to a meeting or something … but when we were having drinks at her place one night, she just gave me the story to read.” 

Michael exhaled deeply and rubbed at his eyes tiredly, as usual, unable to make sense of what had been going on in Jean’s head.

Jean was good with words.  She wrote speeches, she had written papers that had been published … if it was so important for her to maintain her lie with this girl by producing a piece of writing, Jean could easily have written something herself.

It just didn’t make sense to him how could Jean want to protect her lies enough to voluntarily hand over a piece of writing in order to support her Diane facade, only to then be careless enough to, out of all of the writing on the internet, give this girl something that could be traced back to the life that Jean had been trying to hide from her?

For that matter, why was Jean even hiding her real identity from this girl? What reason could Jean have possibly had for lying about her name when ordering a cup of fucking coffee? And if it had just been a whim, a momentary flight of fancy, what had made her keep up the charade for months, especially after she’d become friendly with the girl? 

What was the point of any of it?

It just made no fucking sense. 

But then again, Jean’s need for “Diane”, even when they were younger, had always baffled him.  He understood getting drunk and making up fake backstories for your fake I.D. Fantasizing about a different life could fun sometimes.  But the extent to which Jean had developed this persona, the extravagant level of detail she had generated, the fascination she’d had with her own creation …

He’d found it confusing back then but not necessarily worrisome. Now though, now he suspected that with Jean, the lying, the fantasies … they were pathological, things lurking under the surface that she couldn’t control.

Not without help.

“Hey, do you know … is she even a writer, or was like everything she told me total bullshit?” Sidney asked, interrupting the thought spiral Michael had been falling down, for which he was grateful.

“I don’t know what she told you exactly,” Michael began tiredly, “but I’m sure there were significant omissions and outright lies.”

“Fuck,” Sidney breathed out, shaking her head.  “That’s some shit.  People can be so … down low deranged.  I mean, I thought she was cool, you know.  I liked hanging with her … talking to her.”

“Yeah, she makes it easy … for a while,” Michael breathed out as his eyes drifted away from Sidney for a moment.  “Uh … just out of curiosity,” he began, focusing on Sidney again.  “Was bourbon your drink of choice?  When you two hung out?”

“Weird question, but good guess,” Sidney replied, regarding him with an expression that was caught somewhere between confused and impressed.  “She was more of a Chardonnay girl when we met, but I showed her the light.”

“Doing the Lord’s work I see,” Michael murmured dryly, relieved to have an answer for where Jean’s new drinking habit had come from, and for the support that it was the barista who had been in 309 with Jean, if nothing else.

Sidney simply grinned at him.

“Has she … ah, been around lately?” he asked, wondering if “Diane” was still making appearances, despite the promise Jean had made him to let go of her and commit herself fully to their family.

“Couldn’t say really,” Sidney replied.  “I’m not here all the time, and she doesn’t always stay long so I could’ve missed her. But, I don’t think so,” she continued, appearing helpful while successfully managing not to commit herself to anything so Jean could play it how she wanted to later.

Michael sighed deeply, his eyes closing momentarily as he went over everything they’d talked about. There was nothing off about what the girl said, in fact, everything seemed to line up with his best case scenario, but he still felt uneasy, so much of what Jean had been doing still made no sense to him.

She may not have been cheating on him, but why was she toying with this girl? Why had she been burning patient notes? Why had she resurrected “Diane” after so long? And these were only the questions he had enough information to ask.  What else she was up to that he had no idea about?

“Listen,” Sidney began, drawing Michael out of his head. “If we’re done here, I should really,” she continued, jerking her thumb in the direction of the counter, indicating that she needed to get back to work.

“Yeah, of course,” Michael said, knowing that staying any longer would just continue to waste both of their time.  “Sorry for taking up your time.  Thank you, for talking to me.”

“No worries,” Sidney replied easily.  “I hope it helped.  Can I get you anything coffee related before you go?” she offered with a smile.

“Uhh,” Michael breathed out, glancing up at the board, figuring that he could as well order something after taking up so much of her time.  “A medium, dark roast … doesn’t matter which one.  Thanks.”

Sidney nodded and headed back behind the counter to fill the order.

“Hey,” Sidney said as she handed Michael his change.  “I don’t know what the deal is with Diane.  But she’s lucky to have someone in her life that cares about her so much.  Whatever it is that’s going on … I hope that it works out.”

“Me too,” Michael replied softly. “Thanks for the coffee,” he continued, offering her a tight smile.  “I’m sorry you got caught up in all of this. She doesn’t mean any harm … I don’t think. But I know it’s still tough,” he added before dropping a couple of dollar bills into the tip jar and heading towards the exit.

_So that’s Michael_ , Sidney thought as she slipped back around the counter, waving Max off when he reminded her that she only had 10 minutes left on her lunch break. 

He was handsome enough Sidney supposed, and he seemed … sweet. He was also clearly controlled, responsible, reasonable … adult.  He was … normal, the type of guy any girl would be proud to take home to meet her parents. Given the expectations that had been put on Jean growing up, Sidney could understand how Jean could be drawn to his stability. She could understand why Jean thought she needed him to create and maintain the ABC Family drama she felt she was supposed to live.

However, as Sidney imaged a decade of conversations about taking out the garbage, who’s turn it was to wash the dishes, flipping coins over laundry duty, discussing taking the car into the shop, and other mind-numbing shit like that, she had never better understood where “Diane” had come from.

Jean wanted to keep Michael, but she didn’t need him. He was familiar, and safe, things Jean was taught to believe were good for her, but like Jean’s mother before him, Michael’s love and expectations were suffocating her. They trapped her. “Diane” was proof of that. “Diane” was proof of Jean’s need to break free and breathe. 

Jean had convinced herself she needed what Michael offered, but what she needed was the opposite of him.

What Jean needed was someone who understood and accepted what lay at the core of her being.  What Jean needed was someone who knew that the freedom, the excitement, the desire for possibility that Jean’s soul craved was something Jean would never be able to escape, or outgrow.

What Jean needed was a twin untamable soul with whom to roam.

What Jean needed … was her.


	3. Entanglements

When Sidney returned to the storeroom Jean was pacing and glancing compulsively at something on her phone.  As Sidney approached her however, Jean took one last look at the screen and then tucked the phone into her back pocket, greeting Sidney with an anxious look.

“It’s cool,” Sidney assured her as she took Jean’s hand into her own. “He just left. It went well. He doesn’t suspect a thing … at least when it comes to this,” she added, leaning in to kiss Jean’s lips sweetly.

Jean released a tense breath of air, and then nodded her head.

It was something at least.

It was still a worry that Michael was digging at all, however. Sidney might’ve managed to convince him that she was nothing but an innocent bystander caught in her web of lies, but Jean had a lot to hide, and Sidney tracking her down had showed her that she hadn’t been as careful managing things as she thought she had been.  If Michael kept digging …

Jean’s phone vibrated and instinctively she reached for it, removing the phone from her back pocket and waking it up.  Her expression turned brooding as she stared at the unread message, but she couldn’t open it then, so she put the phone back to sleep and tucked it back in her pocket.

“What’s that about?” Sidney asked curiously.

“What …” Jean began distractedly, blinking as she tried to focus her thoughts on that moment and Sidney and not on the text she had just received from Melissa.  “Um … it’s what I told you about earlier,” Jean breathed out a few seconds later.  “I’ve been leaving messages for Allison, that patient I told you about, who was staying at my place. She uh … she still hasn’t gotten back to me and … I’ve been checking obsessively … hoping.  I’m just worried, you know?”

“I know.  I’ll talk to Francis tonight,” Sidney told Jean, stroking the back of Jean’s hand with her thumb soothingly.  “I’ll dig up something,” she promised.

“Thank you,” Jean breathed out, smiling at Sidney gratefully before leaning in to press a slow, sweet kiss to her lips, focusing her full attention on Sidney’s taste and the confronting weight of Sidney’s body pressed against hers … allowing the stress that had been plaguing her for days to ebb away, at least for the moment.

They still had some time left before Sidney’s lunch break was up, and she wanted to enjoy it.

“What are you going to do with what I find out?” Sidney asked.

“I don’t know,” Jean murmured, her eyes momentarily taking on a faraway look.  “I can’t, not until I know what it is.  Besides, a wise woman once told me that you can’t plan for the future, so…” she trailed off, smiling playfully at Sidney.

“That sounds like good advice,” Sidney murmured impishly.  “You should definitely keep that woman around. She sounds like a real asset.”

“Mmm,” Jean hummed in agreement.  “So true.  The best … _ass_ et,” she added wickedly, her hands sliding behind Sidney cup her ass before giving it a firm squeeze, laughing when Sidney released a playful little growl and leaned in to nip at her chin before kissing it.

“A little planning isn’t always a bad thing though,” Jean commented lightly when Sidney’s lips lifted from her skin.

“What are we talking about here?” Sidney asked, looking and sounding intrigued, fairly certain that Jean was no longer referring to the ‘Allison Situation’.

“Something new,” Jean replied as she toyed with Sidney’s fingers.  “Your band is still playing in Boston on the 6th, right?”

“Yeah,” Sidney breathed out, “Why?”

“There’s an ABCT conference that weekend,” Jean began.

“ABCT?” Sidney questioned, brows scrunching adorably in confusion.  “Use real words please,” she requested, drawing a sheepish smile from Jean.

“Association for Behavioral and Cognitive Therapies,” Jean informed her. “I don’t always go to these things, but I have been to a few in the past, so it wouldn’t be completely out of the ordinary if I told Michael I was going to this one … which is in Boston,” she continued, smiling when Sidney began to smile, picking up on where Jean was going with this.  “I could go to your show … finally get hear you sing my song,” Jean breathed out, wetting her lips as Sidney watched her with hooded eyes. “I’ve missed seeing you perform.  I love watching you on stage,” she exhaled longingly, stroking Sidney’s neck.

“You love watching me, period,” Sidney stated confidently. “And I love being watched by you,” Sidney whispered, her eyes closing momentarily as she enjoyed the sensation of Jean’s thumb caressing her skin.

“I could get a hotel room away from the other attendees, so we don’t have to worrying about being bothered -”

“Or someone you know seeing us and mentioning it to one of your coworkers,” Sidney added knowingly.

Jean simply shrugged, silently acknowledging that there was truth to Sidney’s observation.

“What happens in Boston should stay in Boston,” Jean murmured, holding Sidney’s eyes.  “And what happens in Boston could be two nights alone together on a King sized …” she continued, kissing Sidney softly.  “Waking up together …” she went on, punctuating her words with another kiss.  “Breakfast in bed …” Another kiss. ”A stroll through the Commons,” she sighed, nipping lightly at Sidney’s bottom lip. “Maybe, getting day drunk at Martha’s Vineyard?  Sounds nice right?” Jean breathed out, pressing one last kiss to Sidney’s lips.  “I mean, I know it’s not Marfa, but…”

“It’s perfect,” Sidney breathed out, leaning in to kiss Jean excitedly.  “I love it,” she added, smiling, kissing Jean again. “I can’t wait.”

Jean smiled back at her warmly, and then wrapped her arms around Sidney, drawing the brunette into a hug before murmuring, “Neither can I,” as she nuzzled her face into Sidney’s neck, dusting her throat with teasing little butterfly kisses that made Sidney laugh and squirm.

“BREAK’S UP!”

Sidney sighed as Max’s voice boomed into the room, interrupting their perfect moment.

“Break’s up,” she murmured sadly to Jean, reluctantly pulling away from the blonde. 

“Don’t forget …” Jean began as Sidney moved to retrieve her apron.

“I won’t,” Sidney cut in, knowing what Jean was going to say. “I’ll talk to him tonight.  I promise,” she continued as she put her apron on and tied it quickly.  “Talk to you later?” Sidney asked, leaning in for one last quick kiss.

“Yeah,” Jean exhaled softly, cupping Sidney’s face in her hands and drawing her forward into another slightly longer kiss.

Sidney winked at her and grinned when they pulled apart, and then she turned and headed for the door, turning around every so often to sneak a look at Jean’s softly smiling face before she finally disappeared from sight with a wave.

Jean released a soft content sound and lifted her hand, a gentle smile forming on her lips as she traced her fingers over them, not quite ready to let go of the memory of Sidney’s lips on hers. 

Her moment of peace was interrupted a moment later however, when her phone vibrated once more. 

The text was from Larin, informing Jean that she had seen Melissa lurking near the office a few minutes ago when she’d returned from lunch.

Jean breathed out harshly and rubbed her eyes tiredly.

_Fuck._

\---

Jean headed out into the café distractedly, busy making mental preparations.

She had initiated contact with Melissa again, but she couldn’t have Melissa showing up at her office that.  The restraining order was still in place and her coworkers knew it, which meant that there was a possibility that they might call the police if they saw Melissa again, and Jean really did not want to find out how Melissa would react if that happened. In addition to that, Jean simply couldn’t have her coworkers knowing, or even suspecting, that she was in contact with Melissa again. The last thing she need was one of them digging into her …

“Genie.  Americano.”

Sidney’s voice drew Jean out of her thoughts, and her lips automatically turned up in a smile as moved towards the brunette.

“Caffeinated this time,” Sidney warned her as she held the cup out. “You looked like you could use a pick me up.”

“Flatterer,” Jean drawled wryly as she accepted the cup, and Sidney laughed.

“Needing a nap doesn’t make you any less hot,” Sidney said softly, wishing that she could reach out to touch Jean, but having to settle for trying to convey her desire with words. 

Bracing her hands on the edge of the counter, Sidney leaned over it, towards Jean until she was close enough to the blonde that she could whisper, “I’d do you right now, right here on the counter, if it wouldn’t get us arrested,” into Jean’s ear. “You know that, right?”

“Yeah, I know.  You horny little devil,” Jean breathed lowly in response, conscious of the fact that people were milling about all around them. “You should invite me over when you’re closing one night,” she added suggestively, enjoying the way Sidney bit down on her bottom lip, like the images Jean’s words painted in her mind were causing her physical pain.

“Thanks for coffee,” Jean added in a conversational tone a moment later, smiling sweetly as Sidney reluctantly eased back until she was standing respectably on her side of the counter again. “And you’re right. I do need the caffeine.”

“You’re welcome,” Sidney replied lightly.  “Thanks for the blue balls,” she added, causing Jean to laugh before she started to back away from the counter.  “And, for the record, I’m always right,” Sidney called out to Jean as the blonde made her way towards the exit.

Turning around to face Sidney, Jean lifted hand and raised her middle finger at the brunette, making the Sidney laugh, and then Jean turned back towards the exit and pushed her way through the doors.

She needed to create a gap in her afternoon schedule large enough for her get out to meet Melissa in person. Things would have been so much easier if she could have just called or texted Melissa back, but Jean knew she couldn’t leave a digital trail like that. If the police did end up getting involved at some point, she couldn’t allow herself to be perceived as encouraging contact.

The problem was it was just so late in the day already. Catching the patient she had booked for right after her lunch break wouldn’t work since he’d already be on his way.  Trying to push her two o’clock at this point would be tricky too, but there had to be one should find a way to move … one where she could come up with a suitable excuse for … like maybe … her five o’clock … yeah, her five o’clock had mentioned a couple of times that … 

Jean plucked her phone out of her jacket pocket when she felt it vibrate. 

It was a text from Sidney which intrigued her since she’d just left the brunette.

Putting her annoyance with needing to track down Melissa aside for the moment, Jean opened up Sidney’s text and found herself smiling as soon as she saw what Sidney had sent her.

It was a selfie of Sidney in her bathtub surrounded by bubbles, her head tilted back as if in ecstasy while her left hand rested over her breastbone, drawing the viewer’s eye to the swell of a pale breast that could just be made out through a gap in the bubbles. 

In the text boxes below, Sidney had included the messages:

_“I was going to send it later … but what the fuck? I would’ve had more fun if you had been there though … so, I officially nominate bath-time as another amazing thing we could do in Boston._

_Now for the really important stuff ;) What should we drink? Champagne or bourbon?”_

Jean took a moment to enjoy that thought, and then clicked into her contacts and scrolled until she found the name she was looking for.

“Hi, Louise.  It’s Jean … well, that’s actually why I’m calling.  It can be, of course, but I’ve been thinking a lot about something you mentioned last week … yes, going out for drinks with them, and I know you really didn’t want to miss a session, but I think it could be a really big step for you if you joined them today … It is important not to miss sessions, that’s very true, but socializing more is one of our big goals for you, and I think missing this opportunity would really be a shame.  If you want, why don’t you come in tomorrow instead, I’ll stay late and we can have a nice, long chat about how tonight went. Does that sound like something …?  … Wonderful … I hope so too.”

Finishing her call with Louise, Jean clicked back to the last text Sidney had sent her and gazed at it for a while before smiling and replying:

_“God, baby … you look so fucking good. I wish I had been there. I can’t wait ‘til I can be._

_Definitely champagne for the tub … and chocolate covered strawberries. I’m sure we can fit bourbon in there too somewhere._

_Go big or go home right?”_

Jean tucked her phone into her purse when she was done, and then began to root around an inner pocket, releasing her breath a moment later when her fingers found the bracelet Melissa had given her years ago.

That was a relief. 

At least now she wouldn’t have to worry about keeping her hands out of the sight for the whole conversation.

 

**The End**

 

_Thank you for reading!  I hope that you enjoyed the story :)  Comments, big and small, are always welcome and greatly appreciated._


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